


today felt like falling

by genimdenim



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Separation Anxiety, Tony Is Not Helping, lost key reference from CATFA, stucky feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 12:09:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3119675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genimdenim/pseuds/genimdenim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve thought Bucky was okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	today felt like falling

**Author's Note:**

> alert alert: first stucky fic. all mistakes are my own, unbeta'd. proceed with necessary caution

"Crap! You have got to be kidding me." Steve stands at the door assaulting his slacks for any sign of his keys, mumbling to himself, frantic eyes scanning around his room.

"Ready, Stevie?"

"Stark, you call me that one more time and I'm really going to hurt you."

Tony puts his hands up in mock surrender and backs away smiling. Pepper playfully swats at Tony.

"Steve can ride with us." she suggests.

"No he can't." Tony answers quickly and puts his finger to Pepper's lips before she can protest. 

"Pepper, I'm sorry you put up with that guy." Clint chimes from the front doorway, Natasha behind him. She calls to Steve over the archer's shoulder.

"Rogers, this has to be the fourth time on record this year you have lost your keys."

"Don't remind me!" he calls muffled from his clothes hamper. 

A small whirring sound fills the room. Everyone glances at the floor. Recognized most by Tony, his own robot TEEN-E wheels around the couch. The damned thing amused Bucky so much when he was last over Stark's place. The first time Tony ever saw the former assassin smile was at that dumb robot, so he let him keep it as a possible aid to his recovery.

The bot ran into Natasha's boot and quickly rolled away. 

Bucky, despite the therapies, is still a dang recluse. Fourteen months out of the hands of Hydra and he still won't interact with anyone but Steve occasionally. 

"Where is James anyway?" Clint asks.

"Steve lets him hide away in his room all the time." Tony rolls his eyes and sits heavily upon the couch.

"He'll be ready in his own time." Natasha of all people, knowing how Bucky may feel.

Tony rolls his eyes again. "Is Steve even the right person to be monitoring him? I mean, they have too much history together. Steve might compromise us in the future when he's too worried about Bucky-bear to actually focus. Wait, I say this like he's ever actually present and here for the poor guy."

"Tony..." Pepper started in.

He ignored her. "Mission after mission...in the last month alone we all barely even had time to breathe. James almost has no one around for him. He would be better off..."

Steve is in the doorway, seething at the overheard words. 

"I'd like it if you didn't question my competence to properly care for my best friend? I appreciate the concern but you can keep it to yourselves." Steve pushed past them to check the floors. 

No one dared speak another word. Bruce arrived and peeked his impatient head in through the doorway.

"I'm here and I'm not waiting anymore. We are leaving and Steve can catch up to us at the restaurant."

"No objection to that." Stark walked to stand beside Banner in agreement. "Bye Stevie!"

Steve ignored Tony as he ripped the kitchen drawers apart. Pepper walked after him, scolding the iron man from a distance. Clint trailed. 

"Want some help, soldier?"

"Thanks Nat, I'll just meet you all there."  
She offered a smile and closed the door softly behind her. Steve leaned on kitchen counter, frustrated. 

He didn't notice the whirring until TEEN-E ran right into his ankle. It seemed to act apologetic and attempt to rub the bone. Steve sighed. It looked up at him, left eye focusing and refocusing like a lens.

A camera lens.

***************************************

Steve had the bot idly hooked up by a USB to his laptop. Maybe if he could access the bot's camera footage, he could watch himself in the last hour to see where he misplaced his keys. 

ENTER TIME : ____ 

The display flashed on his screen. The current clock read 7:47 PM, so he went for 6:30PM.

ENTER TIME : 630

The screen glitched and loaded, starting with a worms eye view of Steve fully dressed at the door of his flat, speaking off camera.

Oops, the time was supposed to be military format. He meant 1830. The audio began to slowly bleed in. This was film from the morning. 

"So what do you do if you need me?"

"Text." An unenthusiastic sounding Bucky responded.

"Or call. You know I'll always pick up for you."

"I know I know."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Bucky sighed in frustration.

"Buck."

"Steve you ask me this everyday just go and leave." Bucky sounded exasperated, tired of the same routine. His faraway footsteps could be heard off camera. The bot now followed at Bucky's ankles.

Steven's sigh could be heard, and a shouted "Love ya Buck!". The door of Bucky's bedroom shut, and seconds later the flat was empty and Bucky was alone. 

Steve was glued to the footage. It blanked out and skipped forward 20 minutes to the image of Buck sleeping on his bed. He was stirring and looking panicked. He began thrashing around in the sheets a minute later, pleading. 

"Nyet! Nyet! Don' make me cold...please..." 

Steve gripped the mouse hard. Buck told him once that his nightmares were gone. Oh man.

He jolted awake on camera. His breaths were uneven and he was shaking. 

"Steve?" His whisper was shaky and barely audible. The high quality camera showed Buck clutched to his pillow, glancing around the room in tears. Bucky wiped his eyes and laid back down, sniffling. Steve wished he had been home to comfort him.

Thirty minutes later and the bot had knocked the lamp over. The crashing sound startled Bucky into the corner of the room. Loud noises gave him flashbacks.

He pressed hard against the wall and then flew out the door, frantic. The bot whizzed behind him as Bucky flung open the door to Steve's bed. His chest started rising uncontrollably, nearing a panic attack when the room was empty. He climbed into Steve's bed, clutching to the pillow as he tried to calm down to no avail. 

Bucky whipped out his phone. Staring at his screen, he froze at the contact STEVE for several long seconds. He finally pressed to call on loudspeaker. 

"You have reached (phone number). Please leave a mess--" Bucky flung the phone at the wall. His erratic breaths turned very vocal and sobs erupted into the pillow.

(Steve's phone did die today, but he never expected Bucky to actually call...)

On camera, the brunet was saying something muffled. It got louder.

"...stevecomehomestevecomehomeCOMEHOMESTEVECOMEHOMESTEVESTEVIESTEVIECOMEHOMESTEVIESTEVIESTEVIE" 

Over and over watching Bucky break, Steve was shaking. He knew he didn't get home today til 3PM. It wasn't even near noon in the clip..

He got annoyed today at Bucky for supposedly knocking over said lamp. He didn't even care to ask how it happened.

Cue later video of Bucky in tears cleaning the glass as Steve complains from another room about it being an antique. 

Steve had enough heartbreak when he saw video of Bucky laying on a pile of Steve's clothes to be surrounded by his scent.

*****************

Bucky was curled up in his bed watching Vines of cute kittens. He looked up at a sad Steve in his doorway.

"Yeah?" 

"Buck." Steve answered and jumped in the bed to full body embrace him. 

Bucky was startled. Steve was talking low and choked up.

"...an' I'm so sorry Bucky you needed me today and everyday and I leave you alone and you need me I'm taking leave and staying home with you forever don't cry anymore I love you Buck I'm sorry..." Bucky pulled away abruptly from his best friend, confused as to his revelation. Steve realized and began to explain. 

"I saw you on footage. Tony's bot recorded you...I mean I was looking to see if he saw me misplace my keys and..."

"You spied on me, Rogers?" Bucky's eyebrows knitted together.

"No, Buck, I would never. Please...I, I couldn't narrow down the timeframe correctly so I ended up watching you today when I was gone..." Steve looked sad again.

Bucky looked away to hide his face.

" 'm fine now...its okay. Now leave my room." He spoke quietly.

Steve gripped on to Bucky again and refused. 

"No. You're going to let me love you right now Mister."

"Steven..."

"James. I'm so serious. Drop the act because I'm not leaving you ever again." He emphasized his point by gripping on to him as if for his life.

Silence. Then a small voice from Bucky.

"What if you have to poop?"

"You'll be right there with me."

Buck tried to suppress his laughter as Steve cuddled against his midsection.

"Gross, punk." 

Steve chuckled too. 

"I'm really sorry Bucky. Why didn't you ever tell me how bad you were feeling?"

Bucky swallowed hard.

"I don't need to be more of a burden."

Steve looked up at his long haired friend.

"Don't ever think like that. I know I need to show it more, but you're the best thing in my life Bucky. You came back to me. You came back after I let you fall..."

Steve ended his sentence as to avoid the lump beginning in his throat. Bucky petted the blond's hair. He had some overdue talking to do.

"Today felt a lot like falling, Steve. But just like the train, it wasn't your fault. God, you risked your life to save me as the world's most deadly assassin. Before that, you saved me in the war. How could I ever blame you? You never blamed me. You do so much for me, I could never be angry or upset for too long. Steve, I tell you you're the closest thing to perfect in all my 90 some odd years. Even if you are sometimes too busy for me. And even if you still don't know your keys were in your coat jacket the whole time."

Steve honestly had teared up on Bucky's chest. 

"Wait, my coat what?"

He cocks his head around to the jacket laying the couch, visible from Bucky's door. A glint of his keyring could be seen.

They both burst into laughter. Bucky hadn't been this happy in years.

Steve didn't leave his best friend's side that night.

**Author's Note:**

> tha-tha-thats all folks. constructive criticism welcome. inspired by that gross sobbingly adorable go pro video of that cat who literally cried every time his owner left him home alone. chipotle gift cards welcome at 8trill.tumblr.com (how do i even hyperlink). or drop by anytime to just talk? (i have 2 followers, i'm so bored.)


End file.
